My son died from sleep apnea, in his sleep, with CPAP.

by Joan Kincey
(Woking Surrey UK)

My son, Michael, was diagnosed with sleep apnoea four yrs before he passed away suddenly in his sleep in November 2010, he always wore his cpap mask without fail ,unfortunately,it didnt save his life.

When I look back now, my son had snored very loudly for quite a few years,and it was treated as a joke,we had never even heard of sleep apnoea.

My son had always snored extremely loudly,which we all joked about. That is until he was staying with me one weekend,and I heard him making this awful choking sound.

I rushed in to him, and he then told me this happened quite often.

I insisted he went to see his GP when he got back home, which he did, and was referred to a sleep clinic.

He was assessed over night,and was told he had sleep apnoea ,and supplied more or less immediately with cpap equipment, which as I said before he never failed to use.

If went away overnight he always took it with him.

I now think he had been suffering with this a long time before he was diagnosed, therefore all his organs in his body had been overworked, as we now know they can as I have since found out much to my regret.

Wen they carried out a post mortem on my son the Coroner stated sleep apnoea, as main cause, and a partially blocked left ventricle in his heart.

My son was 46 yrs old.

If we had only known just what this was... but due to lack of awareness,and ignorance, we had absoluteley no idea. Had we been better informed my son might still be wih us...

Since he passed away I have tried my best to make others aware how serious,sleep apnoea can be, as I would hate anyone to go through what I have and still am due to ignorance.

Also by doing this it is helping me come to terms with the tragic death of my dear son Michael.

I also feel he wont have died in vain ,if my story helps anyone else,

Sincerely, Joan Kincey (a sad mum)


Comments for My son died from sleep apnea, in his sleep, with CPAP.

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May 17, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		my heart goes out to you...
by: shylakay

Beware of the symptoms.

my story is above..and I, too, lost my son. He was only 22 tho' and he never made it to a sleep clinic. If he HAD I am sure the damage to his system from sleep apnea had already progressed to a state that he might not have made it either. It is SO important to make people aware of just how dangerous this problem is..and make SURE they are moved to get help and get help FAST.

Thank you for your story.. my heart absolutely goes out to you...
May 17, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		A Sad Story
by: Terry Vella

Joan, I'm so sorry for your loss, hopefully it's not in vain, I was only diagnosed a year ago after 49 years of SA. I hope I have found the treatment in time. I felt like I was dying before I started my CPAP treatment, I now feel so much better but wonder what damage it has done to me. I'm glad your now letting others know, I have changed my values and dedicated my life to helping, assisting and supporting others with SA on other forums. Keep up the good work.
May 18, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		mick kincey
by: paul farrimond

a touching blog joan,mick is sadley missed by many,alot who never new,about this condition so well done for writing about ,what must still be a very raw subject
May 18, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sleep Apnea
by: karen parsons

I admire your courage, through your loss and sadness, you can still raise awareness and hope for others. I was not fully aware of the dangers of this condition. Thank you for highlighting and carry on spreading the words. Much love n respect.
May 18, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		As You Know My Thoughts Are Always With You Joan
by: Kath Hope

Someone's posted this story on our forum too, and as I said on there, it emphasises the need to look out for the symptoms we're familiar with in our friends and family, to minimise the risks to their bodies. The sooner OSA is caught, the less damage it can do!

Well done Joan for being so brave through your sadness.
May 22, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		sleep apnea
by: Anonymous

i feel for you i think i have this and everytime ive been hospital they have told me its epilepsy untill 2 years ago and got a new neurgougist he said it was panik attacks but recently ive found a freind who suffers from this and confided in me now im convinced i know whats up with me.
Jun 12, 2012
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starstarstarstar 		Death from sleep apnea
by: Ellen

I am so sorry for your loss and can understand some of your pain as I also lost an adult son (not from sleep apnea).

When I first joined Sleep Apnea Guide I read your story and did feel it was depressing. At the time I was really struggling with adjusting to CPAP and masks and knowing I could die in my sleep (albeit the worst possible case scenario) was part of what kept me motivated to keep trying (with my sleep tech's help). Now after about 6 months I am finally sleeping comfortably and using CPAP almost all the time except for occasional brief naps.

Most people are uncomfortable thinking about death...even doctors....so they list lots of side effects of sleep apnea like heart attacks, stroke, obesity, falling asleep when driving, etc and we are left to work out that the ultimate result of any one of those things might result in death.

Thanks for being up front and sharing your loss in hope that it might prevent someone else's.
Mar 23, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		The effects
by: Anonymous

It is hard for us to understand the issues connected with sleep apnoea but you are absolutely right, this lack of oxygen builds carbon dioxide forcing the heart to work much harder to circulate the remaining oxygen in the blood. As a sufferer I just thought fatigue was the issue but no the effects are systemic. Unfortunately many doctors and medical professionals are not taking this issue seriously. So sad you lost your son.
Braid
Apr 09, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		SLEEP APNEA - HIGHLY IMPERATIVE to be in its AWARENESS
by: Anonymous

It is very vital to have an awareness spread widely regard to SLEEP APNEA and its causes , prevention or treatment , and how to do CPR and also the various equipments to be used for treatment .


I personally feel its of UTMOST IMPORTANCE TO KNOW ABOUT SLEEP APNEA and the whole Process and knowing how to deal with it .

Lady Joan , you are doing a great and wonderful work in making people aware about this Silent and Slow Killer which claims lives , because Its less known but is rampant in its onslaughts ..


I also send Solace and Comfort to you and your family , and wish that you would be strengthened and do the good work of AWARENESS ON SLEEP APNEA .

God be with you and bless you.
Apr 13, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Heaven and Your Son.
by: Michael Wolfe

I am so sorry for your loss. I am 37 years old and have severe sleep apnea and as you noticed my name is Michael too. There isn't anything that I can say or do to bring your son back, but I want you to know that from reading this I realize how serious my condition is and will take steps to treated better.

There is nothing I can say or do to ever use your pain, just know that on that blessed day you hug him once again.
Apr 22, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thank you
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for you and the loss of your son. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story in the hopes that it might help others. My heart and prayers are with you.
Dec 14, 2016
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starstarstarstarstar 		Accepting things
by: Anonymous

Please don't continue to beat yourself up concerning your son's death. Things like this happen in life and we can't change them. Our hind sight is always better than fore sight. You cannot go through your entire life feeling quilt about what you didn't know.

Please try to accept things even if you don't like them. It sounds like you are making people aware of the dangers of sleep apnea which is to be commended. If you are not a religious person, I suggest you seek God and his saving grace. You can receive strength and courage from God's word.

A guy by the name of Micheal Shank wrote a book called Muscle and a Shovel that discusses how one's soul can be saved. It only costs 10.00 and can be found under MichaelShankMinisteries.com. I hope you will take the time to read this book. I would love to hear from you, my email is tjandh@gmail.com.
May 08, 2017
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starstarstarstarstar 		My son died of sleep apnea
by: Anonymous

My son never got a CPAP. After SEVEN years suffering from sleep apnea, his pcp referred him to a sleep clinic for a test. It was too late. It was only days before his passing.
Mar 01, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Thanks
by: Randall

I am so sorry for your loss. No parent should have to bury a child at any age.

Your post touch me. I have sleep apnea and know its seriousness but always a good reminder. O have a bad habit of hitting the snooze button and taking off my CPAP. Those 15 minutes may be much longer.

Thanks so much for the reminder of the seriousness. Your pain has to gone in vane... Just reminding people to get their snoring checked and use the darn CPAP as much you don't want too! It can save you life and your family the pain and sorrow. Take care.
Jul 01, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		Bless You
by: Carol

My sister and I were looking up articles on this subject. Came upon yours. We always thought we both had it but never thought it was so serious! Because of you, we plan on going to the doctors. Bless You and thank you!
Oct 23, 2018
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starstarstarstarstar 		I lost my husband
by: Cherie

My husband was only 40, wore the CPAP faithfully for years and died with it on last February. No one ever warned about us about the danger of sudden cardiac death. I thought that once he was treated, he would be fine.

I wish I would have your story sooner. Doctors who do not make patients aware of the serious risks associated with sleep apnea should be held accountable. Now his 15 yr old son and I are left to suffer the devastation of this loss.
Jan 16, 2020
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starstarstarstarstar 		I use a Cpap machine
by: Jonathan

I use a Cpap machine I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea a few years ago when I use the machine I don't snore and when I don't I start snoring although I don't like using a machine so some nights I don't use it then I start having breathing problems and start using it again.
I'll be 56 next month I know Sleep Apnea can be life threatening.

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